Crossraods & Courage

A recent Twittier post by David Boreanaz read, “Love the silence and be in the moment. You may be surprised what you see and hear. Live to love."

 I’ve been living, if not loving, a lot of silence lately. To say that life has been stressful would be a gross understatement. And stress for me always leads to quiet contemplation… and quiet contemplation leads to writing.  I love to live in my own space and in my own mind at times. It isn’t often that I want to open up to those outside my inner, trusted circle. I’m usually disappointed when I do.

So, I still find it an amazing that I have met someone that I want to open up to. For me, this takes courage. Sounds silly, but I am terrified of sharing my feelings with someone when I am not sure what the reaction will be. I’m not talking about opinions. I am more than comfortable sharing my opinions with any and every one. I’m talking about the deep, personal feelings and thoughts we all have. The ones that, when kept private, are safe, but when shared and rejected, can bruise and batter.

This is why I am such a fan of the written word. Putting things down on paper allows you to view your heart in black and white – and paper doesn’t criticize. Paper doesn’t make you feel like a fool for expressing yourself. Paper is a quiet friend that helps you work out your thoughts.

With relationships constantly twisting and shifting (not always in a good way) and life constantly tossing out obstacles, it is nice to have that steady, silent friend.  But the time is coming where I would like to have more. More with my relationships… more with my job… more with my writing… just more in general.

My life seems to be approaching a crossroads and I know that the next few years will be laced with monumental changes. When I hit that point, it’s anyone is guess what direction I take.  The future is always unsure, but one thing I know for certain is that I will always be strong… I will always be independent… I will always be myself… and I’m ready for an adventure. 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers